It's all Relative...Part II

In my last post, I highlighted some great moments that seem to happen organically around weddings - and some downfalls. So here are a few quick tips to get you down the aisle with a minimum of trips to your local bartender/therapist/E.R.:

1. Keep a sense of humor....  We've moved! Please join us at: Ariel Yve Design
Yes, it is your wedding day and something could possibly go awry, but that's what you've hired all of those lovely professional people to help you with. I have yet to see a case where a couple could not get married due to some emergency - including extreme wind, pouring rain, fires, and the run-of-the-mill bridesmaid fainting/groom forgetting the wedding rings at the jewelers type mishaps. So the florist accidentally added green ribbon, instead of green flowers, to your bouquet? Annoying, yes, but in one, or five or ten years, you should be celebrating your anniversary and wishing you could still fit into your bridal attire -and all the things that seemed like a big deal at the time will be in the rear-view mirror.

2. Make 'Us' time with your intended a priority. After all, it is your big DAY, day being a singular noun. You want the person you marry keep falling more in love with you. Be willing to put down that guest list or step away from the wedding website and give them a meaningful hug and a kiss or play a game, whatever you enjoy doing together that is NOT wedding related. Chances are, most grooms care less about which napkin color you're picking six months in advance than you making it to your regular night out this week. The best thing you can do for yourselves? Get outside, do something you regularly enjoy doing, and schedule time for wedding details instead of being on the "Wedding Channel" 24/7. This adorable couple surfs, hikes with their two doggies - and they're planning a wedding!

3. Clear communication trumps stress and panic, every time. The economy, job changes, family dynamics...the list of outside forces that can turn even the best-laid plans upside down is long. Occasionally, dates must even be changed or postponed. Fortunately, if you've booked the right team of vendors, you can get right back on track. One couple had a young son who was seriously ill before their wedding and had to call me and cancel their plans for a larger, more elaborate wedding. Happily, their son made a full recovery and due to their swift communication, I was able to help them negotiate with their other vendors for partial to complete refunds. Another wedding day dawned so windy that the chairs the rental company had set up were literally blowing over - there was no way I could make their dreams of a beach wedding a reality. Happily, the venue across the street did a quick ceremony set-up so they were able to have a beach view wedding, sans the sandblasting. The only thing you should be using your phone for, if at all, on your wedding day, is this:

4. Include your families and friends and wedding party...as much as is practical for you. Family can be a double-edged sword in the wedding planning process - try and make the strengths of your own family work for you, not against. One clever bride had her sister-in-law, a graphic designer, handle all the favors, programs and place cards - and they turned out to be amazingly beautiful! On the other hand, if mom and dad are putting pressure on you to overspend, over-invite or over-tax yourself in the "do it yourself" departments, you may need to gracefully explain that the "two of us have decided to ---" and tactfully stick with that. Try to have at least one fun activity with all (or most, if some are cross-country) of your wedding party - there is a reason that spas, wine tours, whale watching and group golf tournaments are popular - they're FUN! Picnics at local parks or outdoor areas or low-key activities such as beach days with bocce ball and some coolers full of cold drinks and easy snacks are easy to organize and easy on the budget, but add great memories!

5. But remember, friends and family have feelings (and lives), too! Naturally, while planning a wedding, your own emotions, concerns and choices are at the forefront of your thoughts - but they are likely not top priority for your expecting sister-in-law or a friend in the middle of a painful break-up or divorce. If your fiance has the Bar Exam to study for and has to wrangle the remote from your clenched fist and you're watching a Wedding Channel marathon, it's time to re-think your priorities. Make time for drinks with your best friend(s) or a barbecue that doesn't come with a side of wedding-centered conversation, so they know you care about them.

In the end, you can' t please everyone....but you will definitely have had the satisfaction of knowing you did your best! When the wedding day arrives, turn off your phone, cherish your beloved(s), take a deep breath and remember that the aisle you'll walk down is really two halves...of a whole group of people who love and care for you and your future spouse. Embrace the moment, realize that you are marrying your loved one, and enjoy yourselves!